Is your child starting kindergarten soon? Are they having difficulty identifying and managing their feelings? Don’t worry—even adults sometimes struggle with this. Fortunately, there are lots of ways you can help your child become a champion at managing their emotions. Here are five of them!
Being able to identify your emotions is a major asset in building relationships, interacting appropriately with others, and adapting your behaviour to social conventions. Emotional competence is also fundamental to a child’s academic success. Why? Because it ensures that they’re better equipped to do the following:
Most children react strongly to frustration. Behind their emotional outbursts often lie poorly expressed, unmet needs. To avoid these kinds of tantrums, help your little one identify and name their needs. Here are some examples:
- “I’m hungry.”
- “I need a hug.”
- “I’d like you to look at me.”
- Etc.
Acknowledging, naming, and meeting your child’s needs doesn’t mean they won’t still experience strong emotions. To master such emotions, they have to be able to recognize them. The following activities will help your child distinguish between their emotions:
- Read stories and ask questions (e.g., “Do you think the little girl was sad or happy? Is the little boy in the story angry? How does your stomach feel when you’re angry?)
- Name your own emotions and describe them
- Draw or make a poster to illustrate an emotion
- Ask your child questions to find out how they’re feeling (e.g., “I can see that you’re crying. Is it because you’re sad, angry, or frustrated?)
- Etc.
We created a fun game that can help your child learn to identify their emotions: Managing Emotions: Finding the Right Words.
After a tantrum, an outburst of joy, or a tense situation, it may be helpful to look back on the event with your child. Once everyone is calm, ask questions such as the following:
- “What made you angry?”
- “Instead of screaming, how else could you have responded?”
- “Is it possible you’re feeling disappointed?”
- Etc.
Children eventually have to learn to comfort themselves when they feel overwhelmed by an emotion. There are many strategies that can help with this skill. Here are just a few:
- Take five deep breaths
- Close your eyes and count to 10
- Push as hard as you can against a wall
- Press your two thumbs together until you feel calm again
- Imagine the face of someone you love
- Etc.
When emotions become too intense, it’s sometimes necessary to resort to “emergency exits,” or withdrawal techniques. After asking permission from an adult in charge, your child can take a moment to regain their composure by going someplace quiet:
- A staircase
- A small toy tent
- Under their desk
- Etc.
Kids who are particularly anxious may need to be accompanied by an adult during this time.
Sleep directly influences the intensity of emotions, how long they last, and how they’re managed. For example, children who don’t get enough sleep often tend to be irritable, annoyed, etc. It’s important to make sure that your child gets enough restorative sleep so that their body and brain can recharge.
Writing : The Alloprof Parents' team