Who am I? Three little words that pack a big punch! This question can take a lifetime to answer, but it’s during adolescence that the real self-reflection begins. For young people, getting to know themselves is extremely important—not only to navigate through life, but to make the right career choices.
To loosely quote Aristotle, we need others to know ourselves. By nurturing relationships and making friends, kids learn to do the following:
- Set boundaries
- Determine their values
- Discover new interests
- Broaden their horizons (e.g., explore new ways of life, new customs)
- Confront their preconceptions
- Etc.
Sports can open up a wonderful world of self-discovery. By encouraging your child to be active, you’re giving them an opportunity to learn more about their talents. Through sports, they can discover if they have certain traits:
- Perseverant
- Competitive
- Combative
- Humble in victory and gracious in defeat
- Team-oriented
- Etc.
Knowing your strengths is one of the keys to choosing a future career. To help your child identify their strengths, name a series of qualities and ask them whether it describes them. If they say yes to one, ask them to expand on their answer. Here’s a list of common positive traits:
- Perseverant
- Curious
- Funny
- Positive
- Disciplined
- Creative
- Organized
- Patient
- Dedicated to justice
- Enthusiastic
- Generous
- Honest
- Insightful
- Punctual
- Energetic
- Etc.
Having an idea of where we can improve is an important step in selecting the right path. The same can be said for students trying to make decisions that will impact their futures. For example, a child who has difficulty sitting still for an extended period of time should perhaps avoid an academic career that leads to a desk job. That’s why it’s important to help your child identify their weak spots. Here are some questions you can ask them:
- Can you name five challenges you’ve faced in school?
- What three tasks do you dislike the most?
- If you could eliminate one subject, what would it be?
- How would you grade yourself as a team player?
- Etc.
When you encourage your child to express themselves, you help them discover their passions and what makes them unique. To trigger a discussion, you can ask the following questions:
- What do you like to do most outside of school?
- What’s your favourite school subject? Why?
- If you could add a subject to school, what would it be?
- Is there a concept you learned in school that really stuck with you?
- Can you name three qualities that are important to you?
- If you had to do volunteer work, which organization or activity would you choose?
- Can you name three values that are important to you? Why?
- What is more important to you: having fun, making money, or having freedom?
- Do you prefer to make the rules or follow them? Why?
- How would you feel about working in a team for the rest of your life?
- Would you be able to work nights? Why?
- Etc.
Do you know who else can help your child learn more about themselves and make informed choices about their future?Their school guidance counsellor! To learn more about their role, check out our article on the subject.
Writing : Marie-Ève Cloutier
Scientific review : Geneviève Dionne, psychoeducator
Rewriting : The Alloprof Parents' team
Erikson, Érik H., Adolescence et crise, la quête de l’identité. Paris : Flammarion, 1972.
Foelsch, Pamela A., Odom, Anna E.,Kernberg, Otto F. (2008). Modifications à la psychothérapie focalisée sur le transfert (PFT) pour le traitement des adolescents avec une identité diffuse. Santé mentale au Québec, 331, p. 37-60